Lyrically I was empty.
From an early age I was sucked into this world
like a vacuum sucking dirt off of a carpeted floor,
been mixed in rocks, dirt & the perversion of other men’s thoughts
tossed around by confusion bounced back with an illusion
that I could some day never be the person I desired to be.
Myself.
All by myself I allowed these senseless thoughts
crush all of my dreams to aspire & be all I can be,
stepped aside & let someone else paint a dark, diluted picture of my destiny.
I cant.
I can not allow myself to fear what I can achieve,
after living my life molded by me to not fear anyone or anything.
Now I have decided that I am tired of being this pessimistic woman with a hard inner being.
Toughened by the fact that love has betrayed my mind
And allowed me to see the soul of a monster who was in some way injected in me
By the forces of things that are not of thee.
Up above I mean.
So just love me.
Love me the way people love their Queen,
the way a mother loves her child or at least that’s the way its suppose to be.
Because I regret the days when I didn’t love me
where I hated me instead of hating the fact that I hated at all,
Fell from the sky from a holy grace & torn down
by treating others how I wanted to be treated but instead being shut down.
I won’t.
I will not be consumed by how people feel & like a thief in the night
let them steal my right to be able to express how I feel.
I will be me till the day that I gracefully pass leaving this earth to go up with
My dad, My Father, My Friend, My Creator.
I will fight every battle thrown at my hands
Jump over every obstacle & follow his plan
I will make it to heaven!